Dunbar’s Number: Why Can’t We Just Be Friends?

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Facebook Says I Can Only Have 5,000 Friends

Right now I have 865 friend requests I can’t accept. (So sorry if you are one of them!)

At this point if you want to connect with me on Facebook you can connect at the Ken McArthur Facebook Fan Page (which  sounds a bit self-aggrandizing) or join the jvAlert Live Facebook Group.

I have another 8,885 more followers on Twitter if you want to connect there.  Or there’s always the Ken McArthur LinkedIn connection.

Or you can subscribe to my newsletters or meet me personally at jvAlert Live.

I have thousands of connections I’ve made at jvAlert Live events and at least 80,000 subscribers who I connect with on a regular basis.

How Many Friends Does One Person Need?

It may depend on who you consider to be a friend.

I can count on my fingers the people who have really been close, close  friends over my life-time.  You know the kind … lay down your life for friends.

But how many potential friends are out there waiting for you to connect with.

We are all floating in a vast sea of potential friendships and we are desperately alone.

That’s the paradox.

We all need friends … whether we want to admit it or not.

And … we prefer it when our friends appear when we need them the most and the rest of the time …

We prefer our friends to be low maintenance

The problem is not that we don’t want more friends.  We want all the friends we can get!

After all, friendships come in really handy when we need something or want something.

Friendships are great — We just don’t want to maintain them!

After all how easy is it to maintain a hundred thousand friends?

According to British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, not so easy!

Dunbar theorized  a limit on the number of relationships in which an individual knows who each person is, and how each person relates to every other person.

According to Dunbar “this limit is a direct function of relative neocortex size,” and he estimates it to be somewhere around 148 people.

Dunbar’s number is a theoretical cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships, so is that really the limit?

Are all those subscribers, followers, fans, members and attendees real connections — Or just useless noise?

jvAlert Live attendance is capped purposely at about 150 attendees because when you go above that number at a live event the dynamics change.

At 200 to 500 people you are no longer able to connect directly with everyone in the room, to know who all of the attendees are and to get to spend time with the people you want to connect with on a deeper level.

That’s not to say events with thousands can’t be effective.

They ARE … it’s just a different dynamic.  Large events are all about the connection to a massive group experience.  It’s all about high energy and feeding off the emotions of the mass audience.

Dunbar sized groups are about personal connections.

I’m constantly amazed by the number of joint ventures which are created in a single weekend with an intimate group like jvAlert Live.

But the people who are able to attend any given  jvAlert Live are just a small sub-set of all of the possible resources, partners and solutions to any given problem.

What if you could instantly tap into the perfect partner for ANY given joint venture at the moment you need to connect.

Tobri.com is all about connections … thousands of them or millions of them – the instant you need them.

That means connecting at the moment when you need someone the most … and JUST with the people who are most suited to your particular needs, wants and desires.

It’s more about connecting with quality people than quantity.

Tobri.com maintains the connections with millions and helps you determine who are the highest quality matches for any of your interests.

It’s easy to find thousands of people.  The trick is to find the best of the best — for YOU!

I’m thrilled to be working with a talented team to do exactly that.

I’ll be announcing LOTS of new things about Tobri.com at jvAlert Live in Philadelphia on May 14th – 16th and I really hope you can join us there.

Finding great connections when you need them is going to get a lot easier very soon!

Or … for an amazing high-level marketing mastermind you definitely want to check out the Marketing Mastermind Roadtrip.

But for the grand-daddy of them all come to jvAlert Live Philadelphia

You’ll be VERY happy you did!

All the best,

Ken McArthur

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